In the recent KFI AM 640 show, host Dr. Wendy Walsh invited our very own Dr. Dana McNeil, PsyD, LMFT to delve into the often-overlooked topic of gray divorce. As a therapist with extensive experience in working with couples navigating the challenges of long-term relationships, Dr. McNeil brings a wealth of knowledge to the discussion, providing listeners with deep insights into the rising phenomenon of divorce among individuals over the age of 50.
Dr. McNeil’s expertise in relationship dynamics, particularly as they pertain to the later stages of life, helped shed light on this topic. With gray divorce rates steadily climbing, her appearance on the podcast could not have been more timely. Throughout the episode, she shared her observations, advice, and practical tips for those facing the prospect of ending a marriage after decades of being together.
Listeners were treated to a thoughtful conversation that not only highlighted the reasons behind the increase in gray divorces but also offered compassionate guidance for navigating this life-altering event. Here are some of our takeaways:
Dr. McNeil highlights that divorce among people over 50, often referred to as “gray divorce,” is the most rapidly increasing demographic for divorce. She notes,“It is actually the highest percentage of the population of divorce, is people over 50, more than any other age group.”
The discussion also navigated through the different reasons for gray divorce. Some of the most common are:
- Empty Nest Syndrome: Dr. McNeil explains that couples who have focused solely on their children may struggle to reconnect once the children leave home. She states, “We haven’t developed our relationship. We’ve just put all of our focus, all of our energy, all of our time into taking the kids to soccer practice, going to rehearsals, getting their lives sorted.”
- Retirement: Differences in retirement timing or desires can cause strain. Dr. McNeil says, “Retirement happens…that can create differences in the ways that you want to spend your life.”
- Sexual Differences: Changes in sexual desires or abilities can create conflict. Dr. McNeil notes, “Some couples are like, ‘I’m sorry, I’m still in my sexual prime and I’m not going to be with somebody that doesn’t put a focus on sex.’”
- Growing Apart: Many couples realize they no longer have common interests. Dr. McNeil points out, “You can be on the couch with them and still feel alone, and that is devastating when you have time to think, ‘I maybe got thirty good years left, and is this what I want to spend it with? With someone that I can’t even carry on a conversation with.’”
To listen to the whole podcast show, click here.
