Challenging Behaviors in Couples Therapy – As Seen In – The Gottman Institute

Gaslighting may be one of the most common problems in a relationship, but The Gottman Institute notes that it is one of the most challenging behaviors they see in couples therapy.

As a Gottman-trained therapist, Dr. Dana McNeil shares interesting points about the matter based on the clients and couples she has helped in her practice. According to her;

“…The gaslighter implies that you misunderstood what they said versus taking responsibility or showing any remorse for their bad behavior. There is an implication that their partner is overreacting.”

She also shared the most common types of gaslighting she has dealt with in her practice:

  • Negative body language and minimizing statements about the other person’s perspective or feelings
  • Unwillingness to accept any part of the responsibility for a misunderstanding or conflict
  • Intentional implication that the other person has fabricated a situation in order to create doubt or challenge the other person’s reality
  • Cutting off the other person, not allowing them to make points or ask questions during a disagreement
  • No acknowledgment of partner’s hurt feelings when expressed, lack of empathy

Gaslighting can put a toll on a healthy relationship and should be dealt with caution, awareness, understanding, and self-reflection. It’s also best to seek help from professionals. Read more of the article here.


Dr. Dana McNeil

Dr. Dana McNeil

Founder of The Relationship Place
Marriage and Family Therapist CA License #99008

certified gottman therapist

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