Find something you can validate in what the other person is saying and receive their perspective like someone that you love and respect.

Why is it so important that your partner feels exactly the same way as you do????

“It’s ok and expected that couples will not agree and that conflict will occur. Not just on politics but on likely many aspects of their relationship. CONFLICT IS NORMAL!

People can have the same political view and not agree on how to raise their children. The child who has parents that have opposing views but is able to see their parents handle it maturely and respectfully is a lucky kid. They are teaching their child to honor other opinions and hopefully form their own based on what makes sense to them not just what their parents handed down to them.

What are the odds in the dating world that you will find someone who views the world the same you do???? And you are attracted to them and enjoy spending time with them????

“Rigidity kills intimacy!”

There is value in being open and flexible to taking in and letting your partner have influence on you.

That means you are more likely to be able to find compromise like two people who love each other.

Validating the other person’s perspective means I can hear you and honor it’s important to you without wanting to change my own perspective and I don’t need you to change yours. We can peacefully co-exist!

TRY HUMOR

Accept the things you can not change. Take inventory of the things that are not ideal about each partner in other areas of the relationship and reflect on how you have handled those changes. What techniques work best for you? Is this a deal breaker and why?? What does it represent if your partner does not view the world in the same way as you? Break it down? If you are a democrat and your partner is a republican how will that impact your day-to-day life? If you tell yourself, “Oh my partner doesn’t like to save money and we won’t have enough to live on in retirement.” Is that truly a political view or is it a personality style or coping skill your partner has versus a political affiliation flaw???

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Dr. Dana McNeil

Dr. Dana McNeil
PsyD, LMFT

Founder of The Relationship Place
Marriage and Family Therapist CA License #99008

certified gottman therapist
DANA-DIVIDER

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