You are likely aware of the recent interview Oprah Winfrey had with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle in which Meghan indicated she did not Google stalk Prince Harry before their first blind date.
In a recent Insider.com article, Julia Naftulin interviewed me and some other relationship experts to get our thoughts on researching someone before your first date.
Doing a little research can save some heartache down the road. If your values are not in alignment or there are safety concerns, these are things you may find out before meeting someone new. It can also help set realistic expectations for you should you decide to move forward with the date (assuming your research was appropriate).
One of the challenges people face when going on a first date/blind date is that people are not always honest. You run the risk of being deceived by this potential partner. Doing adequate internet research can help you confirm the person’s identity, their relationship status, how they treat their exes, and determine whether your values/ideals are in alignment.
As you’re conducting your social media scans, you can ask yourself questions such as:
• Are they currently in a situation where they’re dating somebody and they told you that they weren’t? Is there a picture on their social media from last week where they’re canoodling at the beach?
• How are they talking about their exes? Are they writing disparaging things about their exes in their posts?
If you Google before your first date, you may find answers to these questions. However, an internet search will only reveal so much information. Additionally, if the person has a common name you may mistakenly investigate the wrong person.
You may or may not have red flags after perusing their social media. Either way, you may not have the whole picture about this person just from online research. People often create (knowingly or unknowingly) an online persona that may not match up with who they really are.
If you choose to move forward with the date, meet with them in a public place. Trust your instincts.
You can read the entire article here.
