Many clients come to couples’ therapy wanting to talk about the difference between each partner’s attachment styles and how the differences play a role in their relationship challenges. This is especially true for those clients who have done individual therapy work and have been able to identify themselves as someone who is securely or insecurely attached. This is a concept that has become well known because of the work of Dr. Sue Johnson and a theory of couples’ therapy she is aligned with known as EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy).
This book provides a nice introduction for those who have never heard of these concepts before or who seek to do more of a deep dive into the mechanics of connection injuries and how they can impact a love partnership. It also normalizes and provides some of the whys as to how some relationship mismatches or differences are a result of partners having differing needs for emotional connection and closeness.
This book is helpful for some clients to conceptualize why their dynamic relationship sometimes feels off in different circumstances that may be triggering a childhood attachment injury. While I don’t think that the work for couples stop at understanding the why, it does help create context that can be helpful in taking steps toward changed behavior.