Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life By Emily Nagoski

Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life By Emily Nagoski

Talking about sex with our clients is a BIG part of our job as couples’ therapists because a couple’s lack of sex can be a BIG problem in a relationship. This book is a new must read for not only clients, but for everyone who is having sex. It is astonishing that so many of us know so little about the anatomy of the female body and which pieces and parts go into starting or sustaining arousal. Most women are not socialized to explore their sexuality and society has done us a disservice but essentially treating male and female orgasms as the same situation just with different apparatus.

This book also does a fantastic job of introducing the concept of women who are initiators and those who are receivers. Validation, education, and differing mindsets combined with varying needs for about how foreplay looks goes into making sex enjoyable. This book helps to set realistic expectations around sex and talks about how to manage desire differences in fairly easy to read language.

When we talked about this resource in our book club, everyone agreed this was one of the most helpful tools we could provide to our couples in order to get conversations going in new directions. This book can also sometimes paired with another helpful book on woman’s sexuality called
She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman. By Ian Kerner.

Other Reviews

I love reading non-fiction books that unfold like fiction and this book checks all the boxes. The author intersperses her own personal difficulties in attempting ...
Read Full Review »
You need to expect that a therapist would put a book by this globally recognized leader on this list of recommended readings. Brené Brown has ...
Read Full Review »
Some of my clients tell me they want to incorporate spirituality into their mental health journey. They tell me that therapy combined with faith is ...
Read Full Review »
This book of inspirational quotations just never stops hitting the spot just when I need something to ground me or pump me up. You may ...
Read Full Review »
I absolutely could not create a recommended book list without including the book that has most influenced my career as a couples’ therapist. Not only ...
Read Full Review »
I am grateful I read this book for so numerous reasons. The most important is that all my clients are generally in various kinds of ...
Read Full Review »
If you have any interest in understanding the principles or teachings of Buddhism, then I highly recommend anything by Pema Chödrön. I have read almost ...
Read Full Review »
Many of our clients are reading Esther Perel’s books and listening to her podcast, so it makes sense that we would choose one of her ...
Read Full Review »
This was also another book club choice written by a colleague of mine who owns a group therapy practice that specializes in affirming sex therapy. ...
Read Full Review »
The book club decided to throw in a little fiction to work as a palate cleanser for all the non-fiction we have been reading. The ...
Read Full Review »
This book was written by a therapist who also identifies as being polyamorous. Since about 25% of our couples who we see in the group ...
Read Full Review »
Many clients come to couples’ therapy wanting to talk about the difference between each partner’s attachment styles and how the differences play a role in ...
Read Full Review »
I was reading our local newspaper one day and saw an article about a San Diego based throuple who were being featured for their journey ...
Read Full Review »
Unfortunately, as a couples’ therapist I work with numerous clients who find themselves working through the pain and feelings of betrayal that happen when an ...
Read Full Review »
This book was popular with the therapists I work with in my group practice when we read it as one of our book club choices. ...
Read Full Review »
So often clients come to see me who tell me they feel torn and pulled in two directions about whether to stay in their current ...
Read Full Review »
Dr. Dana McNeil

Dr. Dana McNeil
PsyD, LMFT

Founder of The Relationship Place
Marriage and Family Therapist CA License #99008

certified gottman therapist
DANA-DIVIDER

Sign up for our mailing list!

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.