Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life By Emily Nagoski

Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life By Emily Nagoski

Talking about sex with our clients is a BIG part of our job as couples’ therapists because a couple’s lack of sex can be a BIG problem in a relationship. This book is a new must read for not only clients, but for everyone who is having sex. It is astonishing that so many of us know so little about the anatomy of the female body and which pieces and parts go into starting or sustaining arousal. Most women are not socialized to explore their sexuality and society has done us a disservice but essentially treating male and female orgasms as the same situation just with different apparatus.

This book also does a fantastic job of introducing the concept of women who are initiators and those who are receivers. Validation, education, and differing mindsets combined with varying needs for about how foreplay looks goes into making sex enjoyable. This book helps to set realistic expectations around sex and talks about how to manage desire differences in fairly easy to read language.

When we talked about this resource in our book club, everyone agreed this was one of the most helpful tools we could provide to our couples in order to get conversations going in new directions. This book can also sometimes paired with another helpful book on woman’s sexuality called
She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman. By Ian Kerner.

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